I don’t know about you but I’m one of those people who wants to do EVERYTHING in life. Travel everywhere. Take on multiple jobs. Surround myself with endless passions and hobbies. Live a thousand lives all in the span of a day. Quite Literally. Everything.
And even those things I don’t necessarily want to do, a small part of me still feels an obligation to take part because of the ever imposing question, “what will I be missing if I don’t take on this opportunity?”
Well, this mindset and gumption for life was fine for many years of my life. It didn’t feel disempowering. And I sure as heck had the time and energy before to approach life and those opportunities with that FOMO mentality.
Lately, however, I’ve found myself having to get CRYSTAL CLEAR and INTENTIONAL about just how I spend almost every second of every day.
This might be coming from getting older or simply feeling the toll of choosing actions to fill my day that simply don’t fill ME up.
Regardless, there’s one phrase I keep asking myself time and time again that’s not only nourishing to my mind, body AND soul but gives me the permission to say no to things that aren’t going to fill me up right now. And that simple phrase is “If it’s not a ‘HELL YES’ than it’s a no.”
I bet you’re thinking, simpler said than done. Right? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
The first few times, I felt deeply uncomfortable saying no. I wasn’t listening to my body AT ALL. There were definite clues that it was a “HELL NO.” I just had to tune in and listen.
Well, it took a little getting comfortable with the uncomfortable but “no” has finally become a loving part of my language now. AND a healthy boundary to set for myself and others. Especially when I know, deep down, the opportunity won’t bring me any closer to joy and fulfillment in my life.
Yesterday, I had this incredible and thought provoking discussion with a friend about just this. And how it’s keen to keep in mind, that whatever you are saying yes to in your life, you are also saying no to something else. And how the reverse is true here, as well. Whenever you are actively saying “NO” to something, you are also creating the space for a yes possibility in your life that you quite possibly didn’t even know you needed. Nor wanted.
Recent example in my own life: As much as I know that paying bills is a non-negotiable in life, I’ve been turning down prospective job opportunities because I simply don’t have the energy stores to take these on with my already extensive workload. Especially when it’s not work that undeniably LIGHTS ME UP. This has been a huuuuuuge real life example for me. And game changer. It has opened up the space for more self care and more self love in my life which has been desperately lacking lately.
Moral of my story. Tuning in and taking the radical responsibility of saying "no" to less expansive opportunities has given me the beautiful gifts of time, energy and space to fill those moments with activities that truly do fill my soul with joy, creativity and love. Like writing this blog post.
So I leave you with this:
Where can you incorporate more of your own “Hell Yes’s” in life? And how do these choices make you feel when you make them?
Now go take over the world!
Magic and Miracles,